Early to bed, early to rise!

I hate getting up early! If you want me up at 5 a.m., the best way for me to do that is to binge watch a TV series through the night until 5 a.m., than to sleep early and get up at 5 a.m. (which entails putting 3-4 alarms at 15 minute intervals loud enough to get the whole building up)! And I always thought if for 40 years of my life, I could manage being an owl – why would I need to be any other way? This way, served me well as I studied in school through the night, prepared for CAT (entrance exam) after work late into the night, brought up Sam etc. Then, as with most things in my life, Sam thought that mumma needs a new perspective! I’ve realized that parenting is not you bringing up your child in the best possible way but your child “guilting” you into being a role model and making you the best version of yourself 😁

So, come middle school – Sam signed up for early morning swimming lessons.. An innocent enough rationale to optimize his time for homework after school however, the impact I felt was disproportionate! I suddenly had my beliefs turn topsy turvy and in the process picked up things making me “wiser” in the end! Here’s how..

ONE – Habit formation: My day now starts at 5:15 a.m (V gets up 20 minutes earlier than this but he always was an early riser). My role, to pack Sam’s lunch and to support him to get out of the house at 6 a.m. To accomplish this, I’m huffing and puffing in the wee hours of the morning when even the sun is taking a chill-pill. Scared that I’ll never wake up and he’ll miss classes – I have 4 alarms, helper call, and V shout – all in place. But having done this for 2 weeks now, it has become easier to get up! The number of alarms is already down to 2 with minimal snoozes and no changes to V and helper schedule.

TWO – Solidarity: Of course, I can go back to sleep after 6 a.m. once Sam is out of the house. But seeing Sam protest so much while getting up and yet swimming for 2 straight hours & going on with his day after that, it felt bad to go to an inviting bed even if I had no work & no one to trouble me with free time before work! So, out of solidarity to him (as his strict coach is extracting his last ounce of energy), I don’t sleep.. I tried, but I constantly visualized Sam’s sleepy face, his protests while getting up, and his tired legs as he slept at night, and I just couldn’t..

THREE – Productivity improvement: And now that I’ve decided not to sleep, staring at the ceiling was not an option. So, I made a plan. Roughly, with 3 hours in the morning – I used them to set a gym routine, bring efficiency in the kitchen by creating pre-planned groceries and food schedule OR cleaning/setting up wardrobes/shelves/library. Feeling domesticated enough, I’ve even ventured out by planning travels, booking tickets/hotels, clearing work stuff earlier, cycling/ running/blogging etc. And imagine all of this was accomplished in just 2 weeks (~30 hours that this early waking got into my life). I’m genuinely scared for the upcoming months as I might run out of things to do with all this efficiency 😆

FOUR – Healthier choices: My assumption with waking up early was that my coffee intake would double and junk snacks intake would increase with longer gaps between waking up, breakfast and lunch. But surprisingly, I’ve gone all mind over matter in this case. All my worries above were nullified with the set schedule for food! In fact, with the week’s menu decided early on – there’s a good diversity in the food we’re eating! Fruits, newer recipes, different cuisines have made way into the menu. Our dinner times have been preponed by an hour or so, therefore, sleep isn’t getting compromised with lights out at an appropriate time (to ensure 7 hours of sleep for us / 9 hours for Sam)!

So, the past 2 weeks have been keeping us on our toes and yet pushing me towards a lifestyle that my parents always wanted me to have.. My mom keeps joking to anyone who can listen, “The habits I couldn’t inculcate in S, my grandson did so easily. And the master stroke was that he even made her feel it was all her idea!” 🙈

Round 1 goes to Sam!

22nd July 2023

As a kid, one is always excited about birthdays! At 11, when Sam thinks about his birthdays, the excitement is all about the presents he’ll get, the theme of the year, the cake, the venue he’ll have the party at, etc.. But even at 41, I’m excited about birthdays, so I can not blame Sam for his excitement. After all, the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree 🙂 However, the 30-year gap has added some color and maturity into what birthdays are supposed to mean! My excitement doesn’t stem from gifts but from reflecting on my year and realizing it meant something! In a much “It’s a wonderful life” kinda way, I end up feeling special because of the people in my life and also get happy realizing that their life is (hopefully) better because of me..

And after 40 celebrations, there’s rarely anything new that can come your way! Most of my friends’ when I ask them what did you do on birthdays tell me about quiet dinners, game nights, date nights etc. But despite all odds (read ageing), I managed to celebrate some firsts this year as well.. It was my first birthday celebration without Sam since his birth – in my world, this is a biiiiiiggg deal! It was the first birthday when countdown to my birthday was in a hip club – first time ever in a club & not just in SG. It was the first PG (and not PG13) birthday that Viraj planned, which was mostly just us – and if you read my earlier accounts of birthdays, that almost NEVER happened! It was the first birthday when my birthday week thunder was stolen since I was planning a friend’s birthday, but then I got the Leo-Cancer cusp period to celebrate many surprises!

Quite a built-up right! And for me, the hype was “full paisa vasool” (full money’s worth) in actions. It all started with being blah in the week because “birthday feels weren’t coming.” Now visualize this, you’re generally whining about “your blahness” and suddenly you have the person apparate from phone into your house! “Blahness” was swept away, replaced by a childlike excitement of “Yayy! It’s my birthday week!” Boo & I worked from home that day and the excitement of birthday week started on 20th Jul. 21st Jul Viraj came home early, and we had a board game night & a quiet dinner. As I reconciled that my 41st birthday would be a quiet one, Viraj asked me to dress up for a party! Surprised by turn of events, I found myself in Marquee Nightclub and at midnight, ringing in my birthday, dancing alongside 20-somethings, going on a slide and a ferris wheel, requesting DJ for my songs & dancing on them! Coming home around 130 am, cutting cake with family on video call, and talking to Namu, Shruti, Shraddha until 300 am – I was on a roll to make it count! But, body gave up around 430 am and reluctantly I spent 3 hours of the birthday sleeping!

@ Marquee Nightclub

Morning started early at 730 am with calls and messages from near and dear ones! (parents, in-laws, relatives, friends & my students). Status updates, WhatsApp group wishes and IG posts by them with thoughtful messages and nostalgic photos kept me busy in the morning! Ever mysterious and a thorough planner, Viraj packed bags (even mine) and we left our house around 11ish. I found myself at Tanjong beach club (full surprise) with “appropriate clothing”, great food and no agenda but to chill for 4 hours! Coming home for a hiatus, thinking he’s through with his surprises and yet, in the evening, we were at a rooftop bar I’ve been meaning to go! He had gone all out! 😃 The views were astonishing, and luckily, we caught the dry-run of National Day parade with all the fireworks! He still had an ace up his sleeve, began fidgeting for dinner and, I couldn’t get why with just us he was getting worried about time (people who know him know that not being on time really gets him riled up). And as I entered the restaurant, I was surprised to find 2 friendly faces – Prachee and Mukund, apparently waiting for almost 30 minutes… (that explained his fidgeting 😁) Good food and lots of bakar later – I was home and stayed up until 2 am to make up for the hours lost sleeping talking to friends!

@ Tanjong beach club, @ Mr. Stork and @ Alley on 25

In the final 1 hour of my birthday (slept at 3 am to account for full 24 hours of birthday), I reflected along the lines of what Prachee-Mukund started at the dinner about the year that went by. In the 4 buckets, 1) time for self, 2) time for family, 3) time for social life, and 4) time for work – am I better off this year than the previous? As with most things in life, I am always happy about some aspects and find room to improve in most others! Cricket that I took up actively has boosted time for self and consciously setting a calendar to call folks back home regularly has bettered time for family in the past year. But there are only 24 hours in the day, so social life (travel, dinners/game nights with friends, etc.) has suffered in the process! Work while optimized, thanks to my coach, still has room to be bettered! But yeah, on 22nd Jul 23, I didn’t feel too unhappy as compared to 22nd Jul 22, so had a decent night’s sleep!

As if passing on the baton for the relay of “Sharmili’s Birthday Fiesta”, the upcoming week was Boo going out of her way to continue with the “Leo-cusp” week – making plans for dinners, work-from-home surprises keeping my calendar in mind, lovely handmade cards & notes and setting time aside to just go through old photos.. I’m sure making all of this happen was exhausting because she ended that Friday (28th Jul) dinner by saying, “We are done with celebrating you, please don’t expect any more surprises” 😁 But little did she know that the last leg of the relay was coming up. Sam came the next day bearing tons of gifts (sisters sent lovely dresses, shruti again styled my wardrobe, aai-baba got the size perfectly, mom-dad sent tons of goodies 😊), a very special card from Sam (he claims it is his best ever) and lots of hugs/kisses the next day. I couldn’t ask for anything more! But with the clan back, we made time for one last Sunday birthday brunch with Ruchi/Kunal to conclude this really long post and what must seem like an extravaganza of celebrations! That night, I had Sam sleep beside me, and I tightly hugged him (while he still allowed me) and we slept! Fitbit tells me it was the best sleep of the week – making a perfect kinda ending for a perfect birthday year ❤️

@ Soul Coffee, @ PS Cafe, @ Virtually present for a get together in India