It’s been 17 years that I’ve documented this day so goes to unequivocally prove that I’m excited about birthdays! But a milestone birthday brings with it a lot of anticipation. My 20th birthday, was about leaving teens and making the world my oyster. 30th was when people celebrating with me doubled and 2 families made it count. But the 40th was different! Given that you’ve completed almost half your life on this planet, it makes you question your life choices – where you’re at now, where you want to go and where you could have been! All these thoughts were a recipe for a mid-life crisis & knowing myself being a “brooding type” I made grandiose plans to avoid this. They ranged from being on top of Kilimanjaro to scuba diving certification under the sea.. From a girls’ trip letting hair loose to a sojourn to connect with self. And despite my exceptional planning skills, none of these materialized! You might assume this late post is because midlife crisis got triggered but as I write this today, I can confidently say that my 40th celebration made me feel that ‘0’ after 4 doesn’t have any value 😀
On (T-7)th day, I flew a Boeing 737NG plane – taking off, landing in good/bad weather, being in the cockpit and completing my 3rd landing so smoothly that my trainer was impressed. On (T-5)th day I activated all my other senses by dining in total darkness for first time ever. On (T-3)rd day, I went to the airport to pick up my son and parents and got a bear hug rather a bear pile with 11 folks coming to SG to celebrate my birthday! From that day to the D-day, it was a blur of activities, with customized treasure hunt having yearly milestones as clues, thoughtful gifts, gourmet dinners and a week long celebration with multiple cakes and surprises.
Viraj outshone and outdid himself with “20 days of Sharmili’s 40th” plan, sisters brought back the traumatic memories of getting ready on time while sharing bathrooms as well as added to the terrific memories of spending time together without any catfights, mom-dad were here for my birthday after almost 4 years and maa-ke-haath ka khana (food made by mom) as always gave unparalleled joy! Finally, so many of friends sent their messages to make me feel special.. When all your friends are turning 40 and their spouses chase you for video messages/hand written letters etc. getting mindspace and writing something is quite a feat & I truly genuinely appreciate the effort!
And as I stayed up for 20 of the 24 hours on 22nd July, I realized that while the actual celebration on birthdays is important, the key is the people who really do little things or go out of the way to make you feel special. As I turned 40 years and 1 minute, I found myself (yes despite vowing to not brood) taking stock these 40 years and assessing how my plans have come about!
Health – Have always been active and fit. At 40, getting a chance to represent a country team was truly a boost that made me feel 20 for the 2nd time instead of feeling 40! And as an added bonus, I had 10+ years of being healthy enough to compete with Sam in running, swmming, football etc. and truly giving him a tough fight.
Family – The acceptance I got from them and the unconditional love can never be replaced. They’ve been pillars of strength when I was vulnerable and hammered me down when I got too cocky! You don’t select the family you’re born in but the last 40 years are proof that God seems to have a grand plan and it is working well indeed!
Friends – In 40 years, I’ve had more people who stayed constant through my life than those who left and caused pain. Despite my many quirks, I’d like to believe that I made a difference in my their lives as they did in mine. I am shaped by the company I kept and having these “2 am friends” to cry my heart out OR go anywhere to have unbridled fun has made 4 decades memorable!
Career/Wealth – Of all the aspects above, the most time I’ve spent in last 40 years is on this aspect. There have been important functions I missed because of an important meeting OR parent meetings missed because I was traveling on work. And yet, I find that there’s room to be better here! Don’t know if it is the ROI on time invested or that I always find someone doing better or some milestone to be achieved. There’re more what-ifs than I would like and may be 40s should be about purposeful decisions to not have these in the next milestone birthday!
Travel / Lifestyle – A dear friend told me, “I’ve spent my 30s working hard so my 40s is all about travel and chilling”. While I’ve done my share of travels, I do believe there’s more to be done here. And may be taking a leaf from my friend’s book that’s what my 40s would be about…
In a nutshell, these 40 years have been fruitful but I do acknowledge not as per the grand plan I thought I’ll pursue. But as with the 40th birthday plans, I ended up having a life that has more ups than downs, more learnings from my mistakes than catastrophic errors and more happy memories than traumatic experiences.. Looking forward to 40 more (hopefully!)
Sharmili's Minded Mindlessness 