What’s the right “The End”?

Last 2 days I’ve been binge watching a new series called ‘Good Witch’ (#goodwitch – it had 3 seasons & was about magic). And as the title suggests, everything about this series is good – literally. There’s a small town, there’s a good witch, there are people in need who bump into her & whose problems are solved, there are teenagers who act up yet are fundamentally responsible & everything sorts out beautifully in the end EVERYTIME. The magic is not in your face but subtle & the villains here say sorry instantly & back off. No Macabre, no gore!!! Basically, nothing bad ever happens in #goodwitch!

It’s very unlike something I would watch & towards the end of 3-4 episodes, I was certain that this series will be left midway because of its predictability, pace & saccharine goodness. Yet, here I am – an addict – 3 seasons & total of 34 episodes later experiencing withdrawal symptoms because the 4th season isn’t streaming on Netflix. I loved the hassle free life that Middleton offered – completely different from what I would ordinarily experience in my life. I loved that warm fuzzy feeling whenever Sam & Cassie realise they’re perfect for each other – something that I thought could happen only when you’re sweet 16. I loved the independence that Cassie gave Grace (her daughter) – while I cannot think of one example when I wasn’t a ‘helicopter mom’! Finally, I realised I like happy endings – completely opposite of what I expect in most real life situations.

The utopian world of Cassie Nightingale was a welcome break from day-to-day living and I’m sure everyone sees such movies/series because they like happy endings. But some people have a way to get overzealous about movies/series they see. The onslaught of happy endings makes some feel they’re entitled to one! They want them so badly in their lives, that they subconsciously believe in the end, everything is going to be just fine? That their Simran’s father will let go off her hand, that their Voldemort will pay for his evils, that they’ll finally own Pearson-Spectre-Litt, their divorced parents will get back like in Parents Trap & that because they’re good, all good things will happen to them? They’ve been so scarred by happy endings that when real life doesn’t match this reel life expectations blue whale challenges, mental health issues, depression etc. remain the only way out.

I feel happy endings should be perceived as means to get out of existential things to a plane where anything can happen. A place where your core DNA of practicality, reasoning & rationality doesn’t overpower your sense of possibility! And making that distinction or understanding this is very important to ensure that real life doesn’t become scary/depressing. I remember selecting movies for Sam which only have happy endings but what if by showing only one side at such a young age I’m programming him to only expect them? Is that the reason he throws a tantrum when he doesn’t get what he wants? (obviously, I understand that his age has a greater bearing on this than movie endings but do they have any bearing at all?) I think it’s time we see a serious/scary movie OR something with sad ending together – to get him rooted to reality! But that’s not my end-state of entertainment – being depressed (sob stories) or having a heart attack (scary ones)! Maybe it’s finally time to prepare Sam for the world!! Viraj should watch ‘Stranger things’/’The Ring’/’Bambi’ with Sam (who btw, can’t watch a crying scene, a fight scene, an accident, surgery scene, etc.) to get him grounded to reality 😀

First fortnight @ Singapore

After a lot of deliberation, a lot of hesitation, a lot of anxiety & some excitement (that’s only for me for Sam was excited for all the 3 of us combined) – Sam & his mother left for Singapore. And however prepared you think you are, the new city – any new city (even if developed like this one) – overwhelms you!

The first 15 days are the hardest they say, here’s why!

Setting up a house:

I’ve changed 8 houses till date after which I moved to this one. As a bachelor or as a joint family, house setup was always a piece of cake. But when you’re setting it up alone (especially with kids around), it really isn’t! For more than a week, I’ve started my day at 6 am & ended it at midnight, still to find disorder & chaos instead of a set house.

The boxes!!

Learning 1: Setting up your house takes time & rushing into it is likely to only increase work since you will keep forgetting where things are kept & increase the rework time!

Furniture:

IKEA has made buying furniture an experience (an awesome one I might add) but thanks to their model, we’ve measured every inch of the house to ensure good fitting of wardrobes, beds etc. I must say, the effort wasn’t wasted & the result speaks for itself.

Before: Individual boxes from IKEA

After picture: a nicely fit wardrobe

Learning 2: A fully furnished house would have made life so much simpler but I think true joy of setting up a house is doing this major task yourself – if you wish to have your ‘mark’.

Kitchen & sundry:

If you plan to cook, kitchen seems to be a place that’ll take a lot of time! The first fortnight was all about kitchen setup! I’ve spent significant time setting this up & yet like a girls’ wardrobe, despite having many things, I feel I don’t have enough.

Learning 3: May be it’s not that great an idea to go all “Sati Savitri Bhartiya naari” when you have 10 boxes to unpack, you’re living out of a suitcase & you plan to cook for the family. That’s because even if you cook Maggi (and not a whole fanfare) – cleaning, sorting, arranging etc. That follows slows you down! Cooking should start ONLY once all rooms are 80% setup.

Helper, exams & character test:

Unlike western countries, Asian ones have concept of household help. In Singapore, you’ve to take a test to be eligible to get a helper. And you can definitely imagine how seriously I would have taken this test (1. It’s me, 2. I don’t have to sell importance of a good maid to anyone)!

So, if the parameters had been time taken & test score, the quality of my help would have to be the top 0.5 percentile of great helpers! Sadly, my score was a mere formality & selecting a right helper was mainly through interviews.

Learning 4: Interviewing helpers in Singapore is a true test of understanding personality & fit by sifting through all the things said & reading the underbelly. I’ve one who joins tomorrow – so, learning on this can only be post-facto (keeping not-just-fingers crossed!)

Time to adapt to a new country:

I’m very comfortable not talking to anyone if I’ve a TV around. But that was such a misconception! After a week of just being cooped up at home – binge watching TV series – I realised I need human contact. I tried some ways to get acquainted to new people but it was a very slow process & my impatience began to show & I think that is what they call “time to adapt to a new country”.

Kids on the contrary don’t take any time. Within the first week, Sam had tons of friends to talk about & within the fortnight, he had a birthday party invite!

Learning 5: The one thing which will ensure you either love a place or hate it, is the people around. Find yourself a small group because by just talking to them, taking their help – things become easier for you.

It’s been quite something living here last couple of days. At times overwhelming, at times scary but nevertheless the rollercoaster has just started – the adrenaline rush is yet to kick in!!

Onwards & Upwards!

The alarm rang at the same time it usually does. I got up but there was nothing to do. There were no deployments planned, there were no important meetings scheduled. It was my first day after my last day.

On 31st July, I completed 1 year 3 months at ABHI & saw tons of new things & met quite a few new people. One would assume that in one year there’s really no attachment that can be developed but that didn’t seem to be the case. I’ve had a great run at ABHI with bonds that’ll last a lifetime. It could be a manager who’s exposed me to what startup system looks like or my “young” colleagues giving me a run to catch up the new things in tech.

I thought my last day would be rather uneventful (since my manager was on leave) but he made his presence felt by sending lovely flowers. I came to office & my successor didn’t leave my side (to get as much knowledge or because he genuinely would miss me I’m not sure). My team made time & took me out to lunch. There were tons of thoughtful words, gifts etc. that were exchanged through the day. Finally, no farewell is complete without a cake-smearing ceremony. This is where I gave a speech & somewhere midway in my speech; I realised there are way too many things open as I leave.

I was once again hit by I wish I had more time @ ABHI but I was onto a bigger change – hopefully for the better! It was scary getting up & having nothing to do; yet, a completely occupied mind with infinite to-do lists!!!! Guess relocation does that to you.

Leaving thoughts – up, up n away!